Why divorced men dont remarry

And one of the reasons why marriage seems unappealing is that the sacrifices of marriage are many, and the benefits increasingly few -- especially considering that an extraordinary number of men may not be worth marrying! I won't speculate on how many men "may not be worth marrying" -- I'd guess about as many women who aren't. But, concerning marriage's appeal -- or lack thereof -- studies indicate that women are often a lot happier after divorce , and since more middle-aged women seek divorce then men , Schwyzer may have a point -- why walk back into the same situation indeed?

That may explain why of those age 45 or older, a third of men remarry and just a quarter of women do. But even the women who would happily walk back into the same situation have a harder time; while having kids makes remarriage challenging for men and women, it's worse for women.

More men aren't too keen on marrying a woman with kids and creating an instant family. Since more divorced moms have custody of their children, it can put them out of the dating loop -- but not divorced dads. But some men, obviously, are OK with blending families or even starting new families, which is surprising considering how many men complain -- rightfully so -- about paying alimony often for life and child support, often for children they can barely see.

So then why are so many men eager to get hitched again -- especially when second marriages have a 67 percent chance of divorce? Lucy Cavendish, an author and columnist for the U. Of course, this makes sense: it usually takes years to enter a marriage, split up and marry again, and older people have time on their side.

However, even accounting for the fact that fewer young people are divorced, people under the age of 35 are significantly less likely to get remarried today than they were in the s.

Today, fewer than half have done the same. Longer lifespans mean that people have more time to meet the one.

In my mind, this is a good thing. Although the number of people who remarry has increased overall, it has decreased for Asian, African American and Hispanic adults. Asians, however, are at the other end of the spectrum. They push their partners to go out and see friends. Their moms babied them. Maybe their ex-wives babied them.

Maybe they just worked so much that the understanding was their partner would pick up some of the slack around the house. Men need an emotional confidante Men tend to struggle to emotionally open up, and often only finally feel comfortable doing so with a romantic partner. A lot of men only completely become vulnerable with a wife, but never really with their male friends. So once that wife is gone, that can leave a man feeling totally emotionally constipated and looking for that confidante again.

Some men just need a woman who lives and breathes to be there for her husband, support her husband, and have no life outside of her husband. These are insecure men, but there are plenty of them. A lot of divorced women were with self-absorbed men who were too needy. Divorced women want some selfish time Understandably, some divorced women just want some selfish time. Women are often good at compromising and, perhaps, do more of it than their partners. When you take the relationship slowly, you set yourself, your kids, and your new relationship up for success.

Talk about money and get a prenup this time. Anyone worth spending your life with will be on board with you when it comes to making good financial choices. Seek stability in your life to prevent a second divorce. Certain lifestyles and lifestyle factors can lead to divorce, especially those that experience instability of schedule or excess stressors. Artists, Navy Seals, high school dropouts, and couples who met in bars all have a higher risk of divorce than average.

So do people who have long commutes! If you have a chaotic schedule that involves lots of travel and a long commute, make sure your new partner can handle that pressure. If you have always wanted to go after or finish your degree, take the time to do that now.

Investing in yourself is an important way to invest in your remarriage.