Who is murphys law

If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. When all else fails, read the instructions. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Everything that goes up must come down. Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner. Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it. If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it probably needed to be replaced anyway. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. Murphy's Laws of Love All the good ones are taken. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

The best things in the world are free and worth every penny of it. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. Nice guys girls finish last. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else. Murphy's Laws of sex The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. Nothing improves with age.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. Sex has no calories.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. No sex with anyone in the same office.

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. Virginity can be cured. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. Sex is dirty only if it's done right. It is always the wrong time of month. The best way to hold a man is in your arms. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

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Oxford Reference. Publications Pages Publications Pages. Another accurate and original interpretation of Murphy's Law is that if there are two or three ways to do it, and one of those ways will lead to tragedy, someone must do it.

But the statement that best expresses the explosive nature of Murphy's Law is undoubtedly the idea that, whatever you decide, you will inevitably make the wrong choice. And maybe it's just right. This is not because of some mysterious power the law possesses. In reality, we are the ones who give Murphy's Law relevance.

When life goes well, it's a little bit of it. After all, we expect things to work out for us. But when things go wrong, we 're looking for a reason. It's food for thought, but there's no evidence to support Murphy's Law itself — it's all down to perception. The law has captured our imagination. Have you ever had one of those days before? You wake up and fall out of bed while you're bundled up in the sheets. On your way to the shower, you're going over your skateboard and then you're going to stick your toe to the door jamb.

If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question. If that doesn't work, start at both ends and try to find a common middle. Do not believe in miracles — rely on them. Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else. All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons. Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it. Law of Spontaneous Fission. Second Law of Particle Physics: The basic building blocks of matter do not occur in nature.

Skinner's Constant Flanagan's Finagling Factor : That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have got. The Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

The Law of the Too Solid Goof: In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking contain the errors. Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either. Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately. The Prime Axiom: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong, will. The Reliability Principle: The difference between the Laws of Nature and Murphy's Law is that with the Laws of Nature you can count on things screwing up the same way every time.

The Snafu Equations: 1. The object or bit of information most needed will be least available. The device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and failed, there will be one solution, simple, obvious, and highly visible to everyone else. Badness comes in waves. Interchangeable devices won't. Thumb's First Postulate: It is better to solve a problem with a crude approximation and know the truth, plus or minus 10 percent, than to demand an exact solution and not know the truth at all.

Thumb's Second Postulate: An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth. Veslind's Law of Experimentation: 1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points. Whole Picture Principle: Research scientists are so wrapped up in their own narrow endeavors that they cannot possibly see the whole picture of anything, including their own research.

Corollary: The Director of Research should know as little as possible about the specific subject of research he or she is administering. Williams and Holland's Law: If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Wingo's Research Principle: The bigger the discovery, the more likely it was made while testing for something else. Wyszowski's Laws: 1. No experiment is reproducible.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works. A piece of electronic equipment is housed in a beautifully designed cabinet, and at the side or on top is a little box containing the components which the designer forgot to make room for. Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

Arnold's Laws of Documentation: 1. If it should exist, it doesn't. If it does exist, it's out of date. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws. Cook's Cogitation: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

DeVrie's Dilemma: If you hit two typewriter keys simultaneously, the one you don't want to hit the paper does. If several thing can go wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Launegayer's Maxim: All the world's an analog tape, and digital circuits play only bit parts. Cooper's Law: If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it. Bogovich's Corollary to Mr.

Cooper's Law: If the piece makes no sense without the word, it will make no sense with the word. Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful. Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry. Rapoport's Rule of the Roller Skate Key: Certain items that are crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until the day when that activity is planned. At this point, the item in question will disappear from the face of the earth.

Segal's Law: A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. The Principle Concerning Multifunctional Devices: The more functions a device is required to perform, the less effectively it can perform any individual function.

A phenomenon known to anyone who has ever lit fires: You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire while you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace. Aristotle's Dictum: One should always prefer the probable impossible to the improbable possible. Arthur C. Clarke's Law: It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.

Chisolm's Law of Inevitability: Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something. Shirley Chisholm. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. Ed's Law of Radiology: The colder the X-ray table, the more body you are required to place upon it. Eklunds Law: The probability of an event being a coincidence decreases as the number of coincidences surrounding the event increases. The probability that anyone will believe a singular event is coincidence increases as the number of coincidences surrounding the event increases.

Etorre's Observation: The other line moves faster. This applies to all lines — bank, supermarket, tollbooth, customs, and so on. And don't try to change lines. The Other Line — the one you were in originally — will then move faster.

Barbara Ettore. Finagle's Corollary: On a seasonally adjusted basis, there are only six months in a year. Foster's Thought: If polls are so accurate, why are there so many polling companies? George's Lament: The one exception to the rule that what goes up must come down is the landing gear. Gerhardt's Law: If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply.

They are going to stop making it. Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. The energy required to change either one of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible.

Grandmother Blackburn's Mental Umbrella: Always be prepared for the worst. If it happens, you are ready for it. If it doesn't, you will be pleasantly surprised. Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability. Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. If good luck is when preparation meets opportunity, then bad luck must be when poor planning meets a Mack truck.

Jerry's Law: Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. Juhani's Law: The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising. Kipling's Errata: If you keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you don't understand the problem.

Langsam's Laws 1. Everything depends. Nothing is always. Everything is sometimes. Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Lippka's Law: When the world falls into complete moral decay, don't be so old you can't enjoy it.

Lord Falkland's Rule: When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent. Martin's Universal Law: Nothing is ever so good nor so bad that it can't be expanded to be more so.

Meskimen's Law: There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over. Murphy's Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.